Crappy Reception



“9-1-1. What’s your emergency?”

“I’m, uh…,” gagged the caller. “I’m stuck in a toilet.”

“Say again, ma’am, please.”

“Uhg. I’m stuck in a toilet.”

“Stuck in a toilet? Your hand? Your arm? Your foot?”

“No. My whole body, and I can’t get out.”

“Ma’am, it’s a serious crime to prank 9-1-1.”

“I’M NOT JOKING. I’m stuck in an outhouse toilet. I dropped my cell phone in, tried to get it, and fell in. I’m at Mt. Washington. Rest stop two.”

“Rescue personnel are on their way. Hang in there.” The connection went dead. “Sheee-it. That’s a new one on me.”


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Ed Dzitko

Do all the good you can, by all the means you can, in all the ways you can, in all the places you can, at all the times you can, to all the people you can, as long as ever you can. (John Wesley)

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